Discussing your addiction with your family may seem like an uncomfortable idea, but it’s something you’re going to have to do at some point. Addiction is a disease that affects everyone close to the addict, as well as the addict themselves. Recovery will need to take place at the family level. Deciding to go to rehab, coming home from rehab, and making adjustments as you move along your path will all bring up opportunities to discuss addiction and recovery with your family. You may be wondering how to start the conversation and what you should say. Staying calm, being honest, and speaking from the heart is a good start. Here are some guidelines that can help you out.
Decide What You’re Going to Say
Discussing addiction can make for some intense conversation. Emotions will be running high and you want to have as much control over the conversation as you can. Decide ahead of time what you’d like to say to your loved ones so you won’t be caught off guard. Write down some notes, including the most important points you want to get across. Your family will appreciate that you’re prepared, and will hopefully follow your lead and stay calm.
Choose the Right Time
It’s best to talk to family members when everyone present is in the right frame of mind. One smart approach is to schedule a time with family members, and let them know that you’d like to have a talk. You could do this as a group, or you could speak with individuals separately. If the right time presents itself unexpectedly, you could seize the opportunity to discuss the issue then if you want to. Just be sure that you’ve already thought about what you want to say and that you have a plan.
Don’t Try to Convince Anyone
The purpose of speaking with your family will probably vary somewhat, but basically you’re trying to let them know that addiction is a disease, that you’re struggling with it, and that you want to seek help to make a change. Hopefully your family will be supportive right off, but they may not completely believe that you’re capable of changing yet, or even fully understand that addiction is a disease. Don’t try to convince them of all of these things right now, it will only cause an argument. Just let them know how you feel, what your plan is, and then show them with your actions over time. They’ll come around when they’re ready.
Invite Your Family Along on Your Journey
Everyone in your family could use a dose of recovery, so make sure your family understands that there are ways for them to participate. Let them know about support groups like Al-Anon or Narc-Anon. Invite them to participate in family activities in your rehab program. Make suggestions for ways that they can be supportive and perhaps, receive support themselves, but don’t force the issue. Let them engage in recovery when they’re ready to, and in the meantime, just be a good example by moving forward in your own recovery.
Chris Beazer joins the Shadow Mountain Recovery Denver with an extensive background in addiction. She began her career in 2005 in this field through the experiences and challenges she faced with her daughter’s addiction. Early in her journey, Chris quickly recognized her ability to make a significant difference in the lives of others. Chris will enrich our program and deliver quality service and hope to our residents and their families as the Shadow Mountain Recovery program grows.
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