You’ve heard that working with a 12-step group is an essential part of your recovery plan, and you’ve seen others have success when using this tool. But maybe you feel uncomfortable with the idea or are having trouble getting into the swing of things in your group. It may be that you need to find a different group to meet with, or that you need to overcome some personal hang-ups or barriers in order to be more open to the benefits of AA. If you’re feeling like you don’t fit in with Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or any other type of 12-step group, there are several possible solutions for you.
Finding Common Ground
Like anything in life, when attending AA meetings you can focus on the positives or the negatives of the situation. You can choose to find ways to compare yourself to others, or you can choose to find ways to identify with them. Look beneath the surface of others’ situations to find common ground. The way that addiction has affected your life will be similar to the way it has affected them as well. Even though your lives are very different, and your paths through addiction are individual, you will need to accomplish similar goals in recovery and, in that way, support one another.
Choosing the Right Group
Sometimes you need to check out a few different 12-step groups to find the right match. Different groups will have a different personality and dynamic. Some groups cater to 20-somethings, or middle-aged people, or a specific gender. If you find that your current group isn’t really resonating with you, try out one or two others and see how that goes. If you’re not sure where to go, ask the rehab center or other healthcare professionals you’ve been working with if they have any referrals.
A Shipwreck Bond
The Big Book of AA compares its members to people who are shipwrecked. Even though we all come from different walks of life, and the experiences that lead us up to this point were very different, we all find ourselves in a similar situation now where survival is our top priority. This common struggle brings us together and creates strong bonds, even though we are all different. If you can learn to appreciate the differences between yourself and other members of your group, you can greatly benefit from their unique brands of perspective and support.
Managing Director Joey Holub was the first resident and graduate from Shadow Mountain Recovery. He’s earned a degree from the University of New Mexico and continues his on-going education and recovery. Learn more about our Joey Holub, our New Mexico rehab admissions managing director.
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